Cody Green was diagnosed with leukemia at 22 months old. He battled it courageously and had been declared cancer free three times in his life. He fought the good fight, but in the end the chemotherapy would so weaken his immune system that he would contract a brain fungus which he would die from.
Cody had always wanted to join the Marine Corps when he grew up. He loved the Marines, and what they stood for. When the Marine Corps found out about Cody’s love for them, they came to show the Marine Corps love toward him. They came and made little Cody an honorary Marine, now he is one of them.
But just making Cody an honorary Marine, was not enough for one man. Marine Corps Sargeant Mark Dolfini from Indiana, came and stood vigil at Cody’s bedside as he lay succumbing to the brain fungus. Mark stood watch for 8 hours straight, until a nurse came to him and let him know Cody’s time was limited. Mark gently walked to the bedside, took his navigator wings off his uniform and presented them to Cody and left the bedside so his parents could have alone time with Cody as he slip into eternity.
Mark said that the hardest part of the time he spent with the Green family was not at the hospital as Cody lay dying in the bed. The most difficult time was when he and his fellow Marines were at Cody’s funeral, and he presented his mother with the flag, their eyes met for a split second. That was the hardest thing.
Watching the video, makes you that much more proud of the American Military. Sergeant Mark Dolfini says he has stayed in touch with the Green family after Cody’s funeral, and says they will be great friends for a long time.
Sometimes He calls home the most innocent, while the most vile are untouched.
This is one of those stories that just wrench your heart: a little boy who fought the good fight and loved the Marines. And the Marines reached out, and loved him back. Details are at the bottom.
As a former Army paratrooper, Ranger, Pathfinder, and combat infantry commander, I continue my lifelong admiration for the United States Marines. There is something in their esprit de corps the Army can only achieve in local unit bursts.
They are a national treasure, and I thank God they’re on our side.
“If the Army or the Navy ever get to Heaven’s scene, they will find those valiant Leathernecks, standing guard on Cody Green.”
One day, you take your family to the grocery store to order a decorated birthday cake for your youngest son. There’s just one problem, they refuse to decorate the cake for you. Not because you don’t have the money for it. Not because they ran out of icing or cake. But, because they refuse to write your son’s name on the cake, his name, Adolph Hitler Campbell. After the story of this incident broke in the local news papers, child protective services showed up on the doorstep of the Campbell’s, ultimately, child services took all four of their children into custody. Three of their four children are named after Nazi figures or terminology. This happened in New Jersey in 2009.
Fast forward to present day. There was a hearing in Superior Court to decide if the children should be held in State custody or be returned to their parents. Superior Court Judge Robert Reed ruled that the children should continue to be detained in the states care. A decision Adolph’s father strongly disagreed with saying it was based purely on the names of his children rather than the couple’s ability to serve as parents.
“These kids weren’t abused. Our kids weren’t taken because of abuse,” Campbell said. “I’m honest about who I am and what I am.” He further added “If I have to give up my Nazism, then so be it. I’ll do it,” he said. The children are “more my heart and soul and everything than anything.”
The Campbell’s are reported to have separated. An interesting interconnected note is that the Nazi Party recently filed the paper work in Washington D.C. to have their own lobbyist to the Congress of the United States in April, 2012, and were permitted to do so.
Here is one thing to consider. In America we have a constitutional right to the freedom of association, no matter what the social astigmatism is. We are protected from persecution by the government for being associated with any political ideology. If someone wants to follow communist ideology, in America they are free to do so, even though I strongly disagree with their decision in that choice, I support their right to subscribe to communism. Because I support the U.S. Constitution. We have a right to free and open debate.
I do not like anything that promotes Nazism, I find their actions both past and present, to be detestable. However, I don’t support an over reaching all-powerful government bureaucracy whether Federal, State, or Local in nature.
Here is another point of view to ponder.
Muhammad is a very popular name in the world right now, and many young boys are being named Muhammad currently.
In AD 627, Muhammad committed an atrocity against the last remaining major tribe of Jews in Medina: the Qurayza. Muhammad beheaded or had beheaded 750 Jews, adults and prepubescent males, and gathered all the women together as slaves. Muhammad, also had taken to himself a wife, a young girl of the age of around 9. He was middle-aged at the time of their wedding. The Hadith chronicles the story of Muhammad marrying the 9 year old girl of his friend,the girl was named Aisha. The Southern Baptists had gotten into some hot water over referring to Muhammad as a “Demon Possessed Pedophile” in 2002.
If Muhammad hated the Jews, and killed them. And Adolph hated the Jews, and killed them. Why is it more politically correct to name children Muhammad than Adolph. Is it in our psyche as a nation to abhor the name Adolph, because his atrocities were more recent, and closer to the surface of our knowledge than that of Muhammad’s atrocities? I would say that is part of it. However, consider this point of view, or are we so afraid of being politically incorrect to tell the truth about both men, because Islam calls one of them a prophet? Are we to afraid to criticise one because he is a so-called “religious” figure? And, equally, are we so easy to criticise the other one because its socially acceptable to do so?
In America, does the government have the right to take children into custody, because of their name? Where no credible evidence of abuse can be determined beyond a reasonable doubt? Can they break up a family because of your decision to name your children what you seen fit? Should the authorities be investigating Islamic families that are naming their boys Muhammad? If the answer is yes, we are in a world of hurt.
How do you feel about the current state of family law and family courts? I’m sure there are vast differences of opinion when discussing this subject. Many parents want to spend as much time with their children as they can. This makes a split of the family unit really stressful on all those involved, especially children. The courts can only slice the week so many ways to accommodate those parties involved. Also, financial matters come into to play with support orders, alimony and the bickering over who gets to claim the children on their taxes, who carries insurance, etc. A wise man once told me; work as many details out as you can with your ex-partner before either of you ever speak to an attorney. This will save you some money. It may not save you a lot of money, but you’re going to need every bit you can keep. If you are able, have a separation agreement loosely typed up and some idea of what your visitation schedule might look like, you will be well on your way to saving money, and time, if these things are agreed to before hand, it saves the arguing later, thus saving time with the attorney. Any time you can save at the attorney; the better off you are. Time is money! You’re going to find that once you involve the attorney, things usually turn nasty. Attorney’s make money from any deviation they can cause in the case, this includes, but is not limited to, telling you; well you can get a lot more money than you are asking your partner for”, “well you should get to claim both children, instead of alternating years” and of course “now listen here honey, you’ve put in a lot of time and effort into this relationship over the years, now that’s gotta be worth something”! Ideally parents would want to set up an agreeable visitation schedule, an agreeable dollar amount for support and all the particulars of taxes, insurance, etc. Most attorney’s work on an hourly rate, ranging anywhere from $100.00 per hour all the way to $300.00 an hour for “proud” attorney services, of course these numbers can go higher, these are merely the market prices in central Ohio. In any type of “fight”– or “war”; in some divorces, there are winners and losers. The worst part is almost 10 times out of 10 the children are always the losers and the attorneys are the winners and the parents are left somewhere in the middle “purgatory”.
I was one of those guys who took a referral from a family member for my legal representation for my divorce. Sadly I didn’t do enough homework when it came to researching the attorney before I hired him to represent me. I had mediocre representation at best. I was charged a flat fee of $2700.00 for “divorce with children”. I never received an itemized invoice for services rendered, even after asking for one on several occasions. Whats even worse in my case, I paid for two divorces, just before the paperwork was filed I had given my ex-wife $2100.00 to pay the new house mortgage and incidentals for our children. I later found out, my ex never paid the mortgage, she used the money I gave her to hire an attorney to sue me for divorce. Aint that the luck! Actually she didn’t pay one mortgage payment on the new house she lived in for 14 months, and this is just plain greedy, after being in the new home, she let all her family members throw her a “house-warming” party where she received gifts for moving into a house I paid $2000.00 to have built, that she never paid a dime on for 14 months…. and lived in for FREE.
Heres another piece of advice I didn’t know until I found myself searching for a “good” divorce lawyer, always; 100% of the time go with the reputable “local yocal” attorney in the municipality where your case will be heard. What this does for you is it cozys you slightly closer to the judge hearing your case. You really want your attorney and the judge to already have a good working relationship. Think about it. Do you want the guy or gal who has worked with the judge many times over and maybe have shared a drink or a golf game with? Or do you want the guy or gal who has never seen said judge, never! I think you see my point. We all wish justice could be blind, but every now and again; she PEEKS and the scales are tipped! In the real world it really does matter who you know. I know I may sound a little jaded and cynical, but remember folks, I’ve walked the gauntlet already.
When there are children involved in your divorce, always, always, always, involve a family counsellor and a mediator, these two positions are going to be your lifeline! I cannot recommend this strongly enough; because this is where I lost the most ground, I did not do this. Take for instance, getting a counsellor involved, what this does is allows all parties involved to vent to someone other than the person they might despise at that particular moment in time. It saves a lot of unnecessary hurt feelings in what is already a tough situation. Getting a mediator involved will reduce any dis-agreements that pop up along the negotiating process, you know, “bumps” in the road. Also involving a mediator helps with dis-agreements in the future, because if everyone is on the same page and everyone knows exactly what their agreeing to, It’s hard to plead ignorant later over visitation, support, or what ever might be the pressing issue of the day.
You should always use ALL the tools at your disposal! Do extensive research, ask for references from your attorney’s former clients. Use the internet to view forums, and bar association writings regarding certain lawyers. Go to the library, study family law or read books on the psychological effects on children who suffer through such trauma as divorce causes. When you get right down to it; next to a death in the family; there really isn’t any trauma like a divorce. A divorce is the natural world of a child (no matter how bad their environment is) being un-naturally ripped into two pieces. After it is ripped like the tearing of your flesh, then the “distance” of the “divorce altered relationship” begins to set in. Which can cause all kinds of odd reactions from your children, depression, isolating themselves, drawing “dark” pictures and so on.
I will leave you with this, do everything you can to speak respectfully of the other parent in the presence of your child, in their eyes you can “kill” the other parent with just a few careless hurtful words. Always make time to share and talk about how your child(ren) feel, and to an extent how you feel also now, remember divorce is new to you and your child(ren). Take advantage of every opportunity to encourage them to spend quality time with the “other” parent (no matter how devastating your alone time is for you).
I was not afforded many kind words in my divorce, this ultimately destroyed two of the best father daughter, father son relationships you ever witnessed. Now the relationships are dead. I have become as a distant memory in my children’s minds, I have become but a whisper in a hurricane.
Most people who have went through a divorce in the distant past would probably agree with the title of this writing. When couples are facing the tough decision of reconciliation or divorce court, the problems that brought them to that place in their relationship often times didn’t happen over night. They are usually the culmination of years of fighting over any number of issues; fidelity, money, parenting, work, friends, attitudes, etc. What many people do not realize is that divorce is the first step to an even more stressful relationship with an ex-partner, family, family in-law, and their children. Sadly, many do not think through every aspect of the divorce before heading in its direction. Many do not weigh all the consequences that will come with the big “D”. Now instead of arguing about income; you argue over two incomes, instead of arguing over parenting; you argue over what your child(ren) was allowed to do when in the care of the other. And the fighting goes on, and on, and on. Whatever their decision, couples need to know that treading into the direction of divorce should not be taken lightly. In the bible, Jesus gave only one legitimate reason for divorce, infidelity; anything lesser than that should and could be reconciled.
With that being said, there are some who have been reminded on what seems to be a daily basis by their wives or husbands, “If you leave me, you’ll lose everything; kids, house, cars and when I say everything, I mean everything!” I myself, hail from this particular group of people. When my ex-wife explained to me that if I ever left her that she would take everything from me including the kids and the house, she used to solidify her statements by adding a little caveat by saying “And if I cant do it, my Mom will see to it happening!” Maybe you’ve heard those very same words. In my case this is actually the only vow my ex-wife ever kept.
Luckily, life does not end “post children”. Every day is a challenge, but I have made it, and in most cases prospered. With the support of my soul mate, my new wife Cynthia, I have since my divorce, gained my self-respect back, went to school and received my GED, I even completed and passed a couple of college courses. Also I went to school and received a State of Ohio license to sell Life, Health, and Annuity insurance. We have a ton of fun raising and playing with our three labrador puppies. Our life is really good.
I can remember feeling like my ex-wife was extorting me to stay in a destructive relationship by holding me hostage with my great love for our children. In the end, If you are not respected, not loved, treated poorly, or just plain discounted as a second class citizen in your relationship, no amount of extortion will keep you in it. It may keep you for a season, but soon that season will be over, and so will the relationship. Most will say, “stick it out for the children’s sake.” often times this only teaches children to stay in the same destructive relationships when they grow up and are dating or married. This just perpetuates the hurtful vicious cycle in the next generation.
No one can make these hard decisions for you. But if you’re visiting this blog; take this advice, get plenty of input and counselling before you make any decision. Also read the first psalm in the Bible, and follow it strictly, get good solid Godly advice in your situation. Find good moral things to do to fill your time with, help a neighbor, volunteer, bless others with your talents.
Don’t perpetuate damaging behavior because you feel it’s just “best” for all involved.
This blog has been constructed so that divorced parents who have been kept from seeing their children by the “custodial” parent, have an outlet; a voice that might be heard. Somewhere for you to comment about others, and to lift up others who are going through their ordeals that they face. Somewhere for you to gain encouragement when the future seems bleak, and you’re are not sure if you can take one more step forward. It often times is very lonely being a divorced parent, that loneliness is only amplified by selfish and greedy; sometimes just hurtful ex-partners; who wish to sever the bond between a child and their “non-custodial” parent. What’s even worse sometimes, not only do the “custodial” parents keep you at bay, you also have extra-family members dictating their rules also when pertaining to visitation. Maybe you have found solace in your new spouse as I have, or maybe you have thrown yourself into your career, or a hobby. Whatever it is that you do to dull the sting of the loss of companionship of your child(ren), deep inside you know there is a child shaped hole that is just not filled any longer. Having that hole inside you cuts you to the very deepest parts of your soul. Not knowing if your daughter will still ask you to walk her down the aisle, because she hasn’t spoken to you in more than a few years. Not knowing if your son would ask you to be his best man on his special day. Not knowing if you will see your very own grandchildren grow up, or be a part of their life at all, in any way. These may be some thoughts or questions you ask yourself, or better put, torture yourself with. This blog is to let parents know they are not alone in their pain and agony. It is dedicated to those who have had to “let go” much too soon. It is a memorial to all the children who want to see their daddy or mommy; — but are afraid to speak because they don’t want to hurt the other.
Somewhere tonight; a child and a parent are crying out from the depths of their heart to God in heaven, only wanting to be reunited and to begin repairing the relationship that has been damaged and lost.