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SUNDAY SERMON SERIES – A Woman Taken In Adultery – John 8:1-19


St. Johns Gospel Chapter 8 "A wpman taken in adultery

The Gospel According to John 8:1-19

1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.

2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

Jesus Lifts up the Woman

12 Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

13 The Pharisees therefore said unto him, Thou bearest record of thyself; thy record is not true.

14 Jesus answered and said unto them, Though I bear record of myself, yet my record is true: for I know whence I came, and whither I go; but ye cannot tell whence I come, and whither I go.

15 Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man.

16 And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me.

17 It is also written in your law, that the testimony of two men is true.

18 I am one that bear witness of myself, and the Father that sent me beareth witness of me.

19 Then said they unto him, Where is thy Father? Jesus answered, Ye neither know me, nor my Father: if ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also.

This scripture has many lessons that we can take from it.  It is multi-faceted.  With the media ignoring the dangers of Islam, and slandering Christianity any chance they can. I figured the attempted stoning of the woman taken in adultery, was a great place to start this series that I will be writing on Sunday’s.

In this chapter, the Pharisee’s were already fed up with this one named Jesus. They were upset at the following that he was gaining. They were upset with the amount of power that it seemed like he was gaining in the temple. So like any Holier than thou “religious” person, the Pharisee’s (who were legalists) gathered together the modern day equivalent of attorneys, the “Scribes” and decided they would go out into the court of the Temple and put Jesus in his place. They were trying their best to trap him in a religious word trap, using the law of Moses. They brought to him the woman taken in adultery (interesting how they couldn’t find her male adultery partner, so he could face his stoning…) and demanded of him, a judgement on her guilt and the execution of the law. Not realizing they had brought the woman to the one who was with his Father when the law was handed down to Moses.  The legalists are those who want to cast down those who have fallen short, and the Pharisees were especially talented at looking down their nose at those around them. So when they brought her to him, they of course remind him of the law and asks “well what are we to do with her”? I love the reaction Christ returned, he just knelt and wrote on the ground, I’ve often wondered what it was that he wrote. Of course they pressed the question, until he finally gave him an answer they never seen coming, “He, that is among you, cast the first stone”. They forgot who they were talking to, he knew the hearts of every person gathered there that day. They also didn’t recognize him as the one who could forgive sins, and as it says in Matthew 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. His sacrifice would soon put a bookend on the fulfillment of the law of Moses.  That day, there in the Temple court, Jesus saved that womans life. Not only can he save a person for eternity, he can save a person by his forgiveness, and his redirection, repentance. He told the woman, after all the stones had been dropped to the ground, “Go, Sin no more”. She is not the only one he said this to, he said it to many of his followers throughout the Gospels.

Isn’t that the miracle-working power of God?! He took that womans worst day, she was to be stoned to death. But, God set her free from her condemnation, and the terrible death she was about to face. I think that will preach.

After she left, the Pharisees were not finished with Jesus. He had told them He was the light of the world, and they that walked after him would never walk in darkness. To which they said that Christ was bearing his own witness, and It was not true. (After all the miracles, all the works of His Father, some still would not see.) Then after setting them straight on the stoning, He set them straight on a doctrinal issue. He said to them, Though I bear record of myself, yet my record is true: for I know whence I came, and whither I go; but ye cannot tell whence I come, and whither I go. Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man.  And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me. It is also written in your law, that the testimony of two men is true. I am one that bear witness of myself, and the Father that sent me beareth witness of me. Then said they unto him, Where is thy Father? Jesus answered, Ye neither know me, nor my Father: if ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also.

Many folks misunderstand the difference between law of the Old Testament, and Grace that Jesus brought in the New Testament. It really hinges around the Matthew 5:17 verse. When Jesus explained that he was not come to destroy the law, or the prophets: but He had come to fulfill the law. Which absolutely does not  mean that we take advantage of Christ and sin knowingly, the Bible says that we crucify Him afresh if we do that. His grace toward us is that while we were yet sinners, he died for us, and when he saved or healed someone he would say “Go, Sin no more.” With the help of the Holy Spirit we can have victory over sin in this life, by studying Gods word, and Prayer. All things were fulfilled in the crucifixion of Christ.

Robert E. Stage Jr.

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A Mother’s Day Prayer for My Beautiful Wife


My Prayer For My Beautiful Wife on Mothers Day

My wife and I began our Mother’s day with a devotional in bed, we studied The Gospel of John chapter’s 3 and 4. After visiting my mother this morning, my wife and I went to a nice cozy lunch at a Chinese place. I had been thinking of a way that I could be a blessing to my wife and make this Mother’s day special for her also.  I decided to be creative and write a prayer that she could always remember this Mother’s day by, sort of a way to commemorate her day as the mother of our children.  I gathered the best of paper, a really nice frame, and then I just poured my heart out to God and let the words trickle onto the page.  Above is a picture of the finished product. Here is the prayer I wrote: A Mother’s Day Prayer for My Beautiful Wife, To my loving wife Cynthia.  Father God, on this special day, send your blessings and favor upon my wife.  Always lend your strength to her, and set her feet upon the rock that is your Son Jesus Christ.  Nourish her with your Holy word and teach us to be Godly toward one another. Give her your divine protection O’ God; and seal her with your Holy Spirit for the day of your coming.  Reveal to her each and every day just how much of a blessing she is to me and our children, and how much she is needed by us, help us Father to show our love and appreciation toward her, reveal yourself to her in a true and mighty way, all the days of her life.  When she hurts, cradle her in your strong arms and give her sanctuary; help me to understand her pain , so that I might perfect your love upon her.  Grant me patience, so that when she hurts, I may not add to her suffering, but that I might become a blessing to her in your name.  When she laughs, remind her that you’re there with her; when she cries, give her the comfort of knowing that you’re still there with her, and that you will cry with her.  I ask Lord that you would forgive us our trespasses against you, and deliver us from the hand of the evil one.  Help us to flourish in sound doctrine and increase your kingdom.  Now Father I ask that you sustain us on your path, and remind us that you are more faithful than the sun, for one day it will grow cold and dark, but the light of your Son will shine forever more upon our face.  I pray this prayer in Jesus mighty name; Amen. Your loving husband: Robert 2012

My Wife CynthiaHappy Mothers Day DearMy Wife CynthiaI pray you always remember it well!

Robert E. Stage Jr.

 

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Governments; and the Individual


Can an Individual; act as governments do; and still prosper?

Financial (basic) – As an individual, say you were to venture out for a day to buy some items. Lets just say for the ease of discussions sake, you start with a $100.00, you find a “widget” that you would like to buy. This particular widget is $140.00. So you take $100.00 that you have and print $20.00 and borrow $20.00 (from a person who may be your enemy [China]) to make up the difference. You buy the widget, now you own it. What no one knows is you will have to print the other $20.00 at some point to pay back the loan you borrowed. So essentially you printed $40.00. And still yet, what no one else knows is that you have a slight debt and credibility problem, it seems that other purchases that you have made were on credit also, to the total of $104.00, so you’re actually at a debt to income ratio of 105%, but don’t worry, you collect $100.00 annually. Next year, you can print another $20.00 and “borrow” another $20.00 just to stay afloat. But, in the new year, you decide there is some more “maintenance” spending that needs done, so you start with $100.00 you print $35.00 and borrow $35.00. You just magically increased your debt limit. You still are going to have to print $35.00, just to pay the new debt, things are tough, that’s why you only start with $100.00.
So by the third year, you are paying the minimum payments on your debt and running behind on printing money not worth the paper it’s printed on, wait, just ask some neighbors to help out, after all it’s the good-hearted thing to do, you should collect taxes, or duties, levies, just pick a name.

Taxes – You vote in a Progressive levy of 55%, 65%, and 85%, because you feel this amount requires all (when I say “all” I mean those who make an obscene amount) to pay what you consider a “fair share”. So arbitrarily, you begin reaping what others have sown, don’t worry its good for everybody, It’s about the collective. So as your bank account swells, you begin to pay off your debt, NOT, in your financial drunkenness you find three new projects to fund, and by the way, you not only didn’t pay off the entire debt you owed, you borrowed and printed another $300.00, loaned an obscene amount of money to your solar energy friends, after all the revenue is coming in like gangbusters now, and since your creditors will still loan, you might as well get that money now, you can “always pay it off tomorrow”.

Charity – So now that you have built an economic worthless paper money power house, you should find those who are down trodden, and start a war on poverty, after all if you help them, at some point you may be able to call in a favor later (they may be able to keep you in power). So your bank account continues to swell, and you perpetuate a permanent underclass with your redistributed wealth, you give food cards to those without, pay those who won’t work, pay for daycare for those in your country illegally, keep comfortable those who would work, but it’s so tempting not to, especially since the checks just keep coming, pay for therapy, healthcare, funerals, births, psych services, what ever your imagination holds, remember it’s for the greater good.

Personal liberty – Now that you have acquired a certain amount of power, some people, we’ll call them skeptics, have said your policies don’t work, and they’re being critical of your economic plans. They say you’re pulling money from your right pocket to pay your left pocket back. You must squelch that fast, so your only option is to begin passing rules against their complaining, marginalize them, criminalize them, jail them, monitor and shut down their internet communications, tell the media that your skeptics are ignorant, uneducated, out of the loop, crazy, and just plain wrong. you separate them, disparage their good names, wage an all out war on them.

Business – When you want to branch out, this is easy. You find a business in need of capital, it really doesn’t even matter if they need the money or not, all you have to do is sell them the loan package, and when they can’t pay it back, that business needs bailed out, it’s too big to fail. Now, all you have to do is multiply this program and business by as many as you want, remember the money you loaned was worth less, so what did you really pay? Thats a bargain.

As insane as it sounds, this is how Federal, State, and Local governments operate every day! If an individual were to do just 1% of any of the above scenario’s, the Government would lock them up and throw away the key, and we would all cheer that decision on, as we should, but when our Government has grown so out of control, we turn a blind eye. What is the answer to this madness? What the answer has always been. A return to moral’s. A return to Biblical principles, that produce a rock solid family, sound fiscal policy, a strong national defense, sane legislation, a nation of laws and not of men. Our answer is found in the parable of the prodigal son:

Luke 15:11-32

King James Version (KJV)

11 And he said, A certain man had two sons:

12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

25 Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

26 And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.

27 And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

28 And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.

29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:

30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

32 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

We as a nation, used to be the son who stayed home, saved up for a rainy day, we knew that we were not guaranteed tomorrow, we stayed close to our Heavenly Father and his undeserved blessings and mercy. But along our path as a nation we decided to borrow from our future like the son that spent all his substance on riotous living. [Luke 15:13]. After all that’s what he really did, stole from his future for pleasures of the here and now. (Sound familiar)? Some today say it’s perfectly ok to spend our way out of debt, that is antithetical to sound, Biblical morality (not to mention common sense). Here’s a small economic lesson for liberal progressives, If I have 5 sand dollars, and someone else has 5 sand dollars, And yet still, someone stamps out 500 sand dollars out of sand and volcano ash, and they dump them into the same market as the ten (real) sand dollars, as long as everyone accepts the created currency, my 5 sand dollars just lost roughly 99% of their buying power. When the market is flooded with worthless money, it drives up prices (inflation).  This is what happens to our economy every time the U.S. Government, prints or digitizes our money, we the consumers lose! Don’t let no one tell you, you can separate morality and money, it is not possible.

In Luke 15:14; just one short verse later a crisis hit, how many say we are in an economic crisis right now. Unemployment is dangerously high it (U6 number) is roughly 12-13%  Now mind you this is only one verse after he spent all his substance, notice the Bible says he was broke, he had $0.00. Unlike us as a nation we have -$15,703,694,600,000.00 yes that’s a negative in front 14 digit number. Thats right, the Prodigal son was richer than we are now.

In Luke 15:15 the son became dependant on the foreigner for his substance. Just look how intertwined and interdependent on foreign nations we have become. Other countries have invested in our stocks, money, businesses, just like the Bible says we would be after leaving sound Godly principles. George Washington warned us of becoming to interdependent on foreign nations in his farewell address, and told us to beware of alliances.

In Luke 15:17 the prodigal son has an epiphany, I’m starving! Just look how many hired servants my Father has, if I could just eat the crumbs that fall from their table! If we could just get back to being thankful for Gods bountiful blessings and ask Him to steer us back to even just the place of our feasting on the crumbs from the Fathers table for our country, In Him is every need met!

In verses 18 and 19 you see the sons true and genuine repentance, O’ that God would tarry his judgement just a while longer so we might have a chance to earnestly repent as a nation, in spirit and truth!

In Luke 15:20 we see that the Father must have already forgiven his son, It says as he went to his Father, his Father was looking for him, how long I wonder he’d stared at the horizon looking for his lost son?! The Father RAN to him! God is waiting on our nation today to turn from our sins and iniquities and walk back toward him. (You see the son asking for forgiveness, but you never here the father say I forgive you, he already had in his heart, that’s why he ran to his boy, and kissed his neck)

In Verse 22 the son is restored to his former glory, and lifted back to the status of Son!

I want to close with this: Our nation will be judged of God in the present, here and now. God has promised to judge us by every word we’ve uttered as individuals in the Great White Throne Judgement, but nations are judged in the present for their national sins, and judgement is measured out in the here and now, nations don’t get to spend eternity with God or seperated from God, individuals do.

“I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; His justice cannot sleep forever.”

Thomas Jefferson

Robert E. Stage Jr.

 

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Some really good real world advice.


How do you feel about the current state of family law and family courts? I’m sure there are vast differences of opinion when discussing this subject. Many parents want to spend as much time with their children as they can. This makes a split of the family unit really stressful on all those involved, especially children. The courts can only slice the week so many ways to accommodate those parties involved. Also, financial matters come into to play with support orders, alimony and the bickering over who gets to claim the children on their taxes, who carries insurance, etc. A wise man once told me; work as many details out as you can with your ex-partner before either of you ever speak to an attorney. This will save you some money. It may not save you a lot of money, but you’re going to need every bit you can keep. If you are able, have a separation agreement loosely typed up and some idea of what your visitation schedule might look like, you will be well on your way to saving money, and time, if these things are agreed to before hand, it saves the arguing later, thus saving time with the attorney. Any time you can save at the attorney; the better off you are. Time is money! You’re going to find that once you involve the attorney, things usually turn nasty. Attorney’s make money from any deviation they can cause in the case, this includes, but is not limited to, telling you; well you can get a lot more money than you are asking your partner for”, “well you should get to claim both children, instead of alternating years” and of course “now listen here honey, you’ve put in a lot of time and effort into this relationship over the years, now that’s gotta be worth something”! Ideally parents would want to set up an agreeable visitation schedule, an agreeable dollar amount for support and all the particulars of taxes, insurance, etc. Most attorney’s work on an hourly rate, ranging anywhere from $100.00 per hour all the way to $300.00 an hour for “proud” attorney services, of course these numbers can go higher, these are merely the market prices in central Ohio. In any type of “fight”– or “war”; in some divorces, there are winners and losers. The worst part is almost 10 times out of 10 the children are always the losers and the attorneys are the winners and the parents are left somewhere in  the middle “purgatory”.

I was one of those guys who took a referral from a family member for my legal representation for my divorce. Sadly I didn’t do enough homework when it came to researching the attorney before I hired him to represent me. I had mediocre representation at best. I was charged a flat fee of $2700.00 for “divorce with children”. I never received an itemized invoice for services rendered, even after asking for one on several occasions. Whats even worse in my case, I paid for two divorces, just before the paperwork was filed I had given my ex-wife $2100.00 to pay the new house mortgage and incidentals for our children. I later found out, my ex never paid the mortgage, she used the money I gave her to hire an attorney to sue me for divorce. Aint that the luck! Actually she didn’t pay one mortgage payment on the new house she lived in for 14 months, and this is just plain greedy, after being in the new home, she let all her family members throw her a “house-warming” party where she received gifts for moving into a house I paid $2000.00 to have built, that she never paid a dime on for 14 months…. and lived in for FREE. 

Heres another piece of advice I didn’t know until I found myself searching for a “good” divorce lawyer, always; 100% of the time go with the reputable “local yocal” attorney in the municipality where your case will be heard. What this does for you is it  cozys you slightly closer to the judge hearing your case. You really want your attorney and the judge to already have a good working relationship. Think about it. Do you want the guy or gal who has worked with the judge many times over and maybe have shared a drink or a golf game with? Or do you want the guy or gal who has never seen said judge, never! I think you see my point. We all wish justice could be blind, but every now and again; she PEEKS and the scales are tipped! In the real world it really does matter who you know. I know I may sound a little jaded and cynical, but remember folks, I’ve walked the gauntlet already.

When there are children involved in your divorce, always, always, always, involve a family counsellor and a mediator, these two positions are going to be your lifeline! I cannot recommend this strongly enough; because this is where I lost the most ground, I did not do this. Take for instance, getting a counsellor involved, what this does is allows all parties involved to vent to someone other than the person they might despise at that particular moment in time. It saves a lot of unnecessary hurt feelings in what is already a tough situation. Getting a mediator involved will reduce any dis-agreements that pop up along the negotiating process, you know, “bumps” in the road. Also involving a mediator helps with dis-agreements in the future, because if everyone is on the same page and everyone knows exactly what their agreeing to, It’s hard to plead ignorant later over visitation, support, or what ever might be the pressing issue of the day.

You should always use ALL the tools at your disposal! Do extensive research, ask for references from your attorney’s former clients. Use the internet to view forums, and bar association writings regarding certain lawyers. Go to the library, study family law or read books on the psychological effects on children who suffer through such trauma as divorce causes. When you get right down to it; next to a death in the family; there really isn’t any trauma like a divorce. A divorce is the natural world of a child (no matter how bad their environment is) being un-naturally ripped into two pieces. After it is ripped like the tearing of your flesh, then the “distance” of the “divorce altered relationship” begins to set in. Which can cause all kinds of odd reactions from your children, depression, isolating themselves, drawing “dark” pictures and so on.

I will leave you with this, do everything you can to speak respectfully of the other parent in the presence of your child, in their eyes you can “kill” the other parent with just a few careless hurtful words. Always make time to share and talk about how your child(ren) feel, and to an extent how you feel also now, remember divorce is new to you and your child(ren). Take advantage of every opportunity to encourage them to spend quality time with the “other” parent (no matter how devastating your alone time is for you).

I was not afforded many kind words in my divorce, this ultimately destroyed two of the best father daughter, father son relationships you ever witnessed. Now the relationships are dead. I have become as a distant memory in my children’s minds, I have become but a whisper in a hurricane.

Robert E Stage Jr.

 

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The problems get worse before they get better.


Most people who have went through a divorce in the distant past would probably agree with the title of this writing. When couples are facing the tough decision of reconciliation or divorce court, the problems that brought them to that place in their relationship often times didn’t happen over night. They are usually the culmination of years of fighting over any number of issues; fidelity, money, parenting, work, friends, attitudes, etc.  What many people do not realize is that divorce is the first step to an even more stressful relationship with an ex-partner, family, family in-law, and their children. Sadly, many do not think through every aspect of the divorce before heading in its direction. Many do not weigh all the consequences that will come with the big “D”. Now instead of arguing about income; you argue over two incomes, instead of arguing over parenting; you argue over what your child(ren) was allowed to do when in the care of the other. And the fighting goes on, and on, and on. Whatever their decision, couples need to know that treading into the direction of divorce should not be taken lightly. In the bible, Jesus gave only one legitimate reason for divorce, infidelity; anything lesser than that should and could be reconciled.

With that being said, there are some who have been reminded on what seems to be a daily basis by their wives or husbands, “If you leave me, you’ll lose everything; kids, house, cars and when I say everything, I mean everything!” I myself, hail from this particular group of people. When my ex-wife explained to me that if I ever left her that she would take everything from me including the kids and the house, she used to solidify her statements by adding a little caveat by saying “And if I cant do it, my Mom will see to it happening!” Maybe you’ve heard those very same words. In my case this is actually the only vow my ex-wife ever kept.

Luckily, life does not end “post children”. Every day is a challenge, but I have made it, and in most cases prospered. With the support of my soul mate, my new wife Cynthia, I have since my divorce, gained my self-respect back, went to school and received my GED, I even completed and passed a couple of college courses. Also I went to school and received a State of Ohio license to sell Life, Health, and Annuity insurance. We have a ton of fun raising and playing with our three labrador puppies. Our life is really good.

 I can remember feeling like my ex-wife was extorting me to stay in a destructive relationship by holding me hostage with my great love for our children. In the end, If you are not respected, not loved, treated poorly, or just plain discounted as a second class citizen in your relationship, no amount of extortion will keep you in it. It may keep you for a season, but soon that season will be over, and so will the relationship. Most will say, “stick it out for the children’s sake.” often times this only teaches children to stay in the same destructive relationships when they grow up and are dating or married. This just perpetuates the hurtful vicious cycle in the next generation.

No one can make these hard decisions for you. But if you’re visiting this blog; take this advice, get plenty of input and counselling before you make any decision. Also read the first psalm in the Bible, and follow it strictly, get good solid Godly advice in your situation. Find good moral things to do to fill your time with, help a neighbor, volunteer, bless others with your talents.

Don’t perpetuate damaging behavior because you feel it’s just “best” for all involved.

Robert E Stage  Jr

 

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A brave new world


This blog has been constructed so that divorced parents who have been kept from seeing their children by the “custodial” parent, have an outlet; a voice that might be heard. Somewhere for you to comment about others, and to lift up others who are going through their ordeals that they face. Somewhere for you to gain encouragement when the future seems bleak, and you’re are not sure if you can take one more step forward. It often times is very lonely being a divorced parent, that loneliness is only amplified by selfish and greedy; sometimes just hurtful ex-partners; who wish to sever the bond between a child and their “non-custodial” parent. What’s even worse sometimes, not only do the “custodial” parents keep you at bay, you also have extra-family members dictating their rules also when pertaining to visitation. Maybe you have found solace in your new spouse as I have, or maybe you have thrown yourself into your career, or a hobby. Whatever it is that you do to dull the sting of the loss of companionship of your child(ren), deep inside you know there is a child shaped hole that is just not filled any longer. Having that hole inside you cuts you to the very deepest parts of your soul. Not knowing if your daughter will still ask you to walk her down the aisle, because she hasn’t spoken to you in more than a few years. Not knowing if your son would ask you to be his best man on his special day. Not knowing if you will see your very own grandchildren grow up, or be a part of their life at all, in any way. These may be some thoughts or questions you ask yourself, or better put, torture yourself with. This blog is to let parents know they are not alone in their pain and agony. It is dedicated to those who have had to “let go” much too soon. It is a memorial to all the children who want to see their daddy or mommy; — but are afraid to speak because they don’t want to hurt the other.

Somewhere tonight; a child and a parent are crying out from the depths of their heart to God in heaven, only wanting to be reunited and to begin repairing the relationship that has been damaged and lost.

Robert E. Stage Jr.

 

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